Have you ever tried to work in a job that doesn’t fit? I have. I would bet that just like me, you were miserable. Your caught in the cycle of trying to please others and feeling like you just don’t measure up. You know that pit in your stomach on Sunday night when you thought about facing another week at work? Depressed. Anxious. Need I go on? Don’t let a “bad” job discourage you. There’s nothing wrong with you and there’s probably nothing wrong with the job or your colleagues. You don’t need to find someone or something to blame in order to feel better about yourself. It’s okay. It’s just not your purpose.
The crime is committed if you allow yourself to stay trapped in that job. It will steal your identity and rob you from discovering your passion and purpose. The good part in all of this? These “bad” experiences help you to find your true identity. Sometimes discovering what you are NOT is critical to figuring out who you ARE as an individual. So, as it is with those people in your life that you admire, learn from the experience and move on. There is probably a good reason you had to go through this experience. Maybe you are in the role to learn a new skill or make life better for someone else. Do your best in all circumstances and don’t waste time in regrets or discouragement. There is a plan for your life and you are being equipped for that purpose. Move on and keep searching for your true identity. You will find it.
Identity theft happens when someone steals your personal information and uses it without your permission. It’s a serious crime that can create chaos with finances, credit history, and reputation—and can take time, money and patience to resolve.
“Self-identity” theft happens when our personal worth is stolen and can result in frustration and feelings of failure or even hopelessness and despair. It is a crime that can create chaos in every aspect of our lives. We think a job, financial security or the perfect mate is the answer.
Self-identity theft is not always an obvious or dramatic crime. For some, the pain and destruction can go on for years before the crime is even detected. Recognizing the signs is one of the first steps to finding your true identity.
- The illusion of perfection:Self-identity theft and the need to control. If we are insecure in who we are we will naturally find ourselves competing with those who we see as successful. We will try to control the world around us and create an image.
- I hate myself:Self-identity theft and the need to self-destruct. I’m not worth anything—substance abuse, eating disorders and promiscuity.
- I can’t stop myself:Self-identity theft and loss of self-control. Believing there is nothing I can do to control my own actions such as dieting or how I treat others.
- It always happens to me: Self-identity theft and the victim mentality. Why does everything always go wrong? It’s their fault. I can’t help it. Believing I am being punished for something and can’t escape.
- I am right: Self-identity and self-righteousness. If they were only as good as me then things would be better. I need to handle it. I’m the only one who knows how to do it right.
Here are some practical steps to protect your self-identity and live a more secure and successful life.
- Know where your identity lies. God made you and placed you on this earth for a reason. You are unique—finding and understanding your strengths is a great way to find that purpose and your identity.
- Tell yourself the truth. Other people can convince us to believe things that aren’t true about ourselves. This can “brand” us with a self image that isn’t accurate—affecting our self confidence and preventing us from fulfilling our purpose. Learn to identify when that happens and tell yourself the truth. You determine who you are or what you will become. No other person can do that for you.
- Ask yourself, do I unknowingly put myself at risk? Sometimes we sabotage our own efforts because of fear of change: fear of risk or we want to feel comfortable.
- Ask forgiveness, forgive yourself & others.Everyone makes mistakes. It’s part of being human. Acknowledging those mistakes and dealing with them will put those obstacles behind you and help you move forward.
- Don’t be discouraged and never give up. Even if you’ve lost your identity or it’s been destroyed. Life is full of second chances.—believe that and you will find your true identity.